This past Sunday I ran my 6th half marathon in Ottawa. As I was running I was writing this post in my head. The weather was great, much cooler and less humid than what I had trained in this summer. I felt strong and my first 5K was faster than I expected. The story was going really well and I couldn’t wait to write it… and then I hit kilometre 16! In all of the runs I have done I have never “hit the wall” like I did at kilometre 16, and it was literally in front of the kilometre marker sign. My head was telling me I only had 5K left but my legs were telling a much different story. My hip flexors stopped working, the forward motion of my legs was barely happening. I had no idea how I was going to finish those 5 kilometres. I did finish but it was S L O W. 

So, as much as I couldn’t wait to write this post at the beginning of the race, by the time I finished I had zero interest in writing it. Why? It wasn’t because I had a tough race or because I hit the wall. The reason I didn’t want to write about this – EGO. I was very unhappy with my time and I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want you to know. I knew going in that it wasn’t going to be a personal best but this run was significantly slower than any other half that I have done. My ego didn’t want me to write this post because people would know how slow I really was. I thought, if I just don’t write about it I can just forget about it. 

The other night I was putting my nephew Alexander to bed. He did really well in his recent cross country meet. As I was leaving his room I said “Good Night Mr. Third Place” and his response… “Good Night Miss Half Marathon”. 

As the week has gone on, I have been a little kinder to myself about the run, thanks in part to Alexander.

I RAN 21.1 kms.

I pushed my body when it resisted.

I had a difficult run and got through it.

I know most people have tough runs at some point. I’ve witnessed others go through it and thought more of them for facing the adversity than I might have if they had an “easy” run. And so I’ve decided to be proud of myself and stop beating myself up. 

So what was my time? 2 hours and 23 minutes.

When you run the marathon you run against the distance, not against the other runners and not against the time. ~ Haile Gebrselasie

Thank you to everyone who is reading this. Having this avenue to express myself helps push me out of my comfort zone. I would have much preferred to ignore how I felt about this run, it would have been easier. But the result of being uncomfortable and writing this is that I gain better perspective, I am less angry and I realize I can run another one anytime and the next one WILL be better.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Mahatma Gandhi

I was at a transformative coaching seminar this past weekend. Removing myself from my daily routine for a few days and spending time in a beautiful setting allowed me to think differently and more creatively. Add to that being surrounded by incredible people and great things happen.

In a conversation with a friend this weekend I was reminded of my vision and realized that while I had been working towards it, in the past year I have slipped back into my comfort zone and have not been pushing forward. Why? Because it’s easy to sit in my comfort zone… it’s well… comfortable. I am really good at planning, and I even execute the first couple of steps, but then I stop. The next couple of steps are hard. I don’t like hard. I don’t like the idea of failing. As much progress as I have made on it, I still worry about what people will think. I don’t know exactly what I am supposed to be doing. And so I stop.

I like things neat and organized. I like tangibles. Ideas in theory don’t resonate with me as I am task oriented. I struggle with taking those really big ideas and breaking them down into action. It’s not that I don’t work towards my goals and dreams but what I am good at, is taking tangible goals and dreams and accomplishing them. Running a half marathon – buy running shoes, register for the race, follow a training schedule, run – all of that I can do, I understand it. The big intangible goals are my struggle. The dreams that I don’t quite understand.

I complete a coaching form every month and one of the questions is “what are your fears?” Every month I have the same answer – I am afraid that I will quit before I achieve greatness because there will be some failures along the way.  In the past year this fear is real, I have quit on the vision. 

So here we are – day 1 post seminar and I am putting it out there. I am being real and vulnerable. I am telling all of you to hold me accountable to continue on this journey.  This post is my first step.

You’re going to feel uncomfortable in your new world for a bit. It always does feel strange to be knocked out of your comfort zone. ~ Jojo Moyes

10 years ago today I ran my first marathon. Sometimes when I look back I amaze myself with the things that I have done, what I have accomplished. I am very goal oriented and so I am usually focused on the future and not on the past. I need to do this more though, I need to look back and acknowledge what I have done and not put so much emphasis on what I haven’t done (yet). Nothing happens overnight and everything I’ve done, all of the little steps that I’ve taken, especially the ones that might seem insignificant, are what have gotten me to a place where I have reached the goals that I have achieved so far, and towards those that I will achieve soon.

It’s really easy to give up on things because they seem monumental and become overwhelming but I’m trying to focus on progress, on moving forward rather than the many steps that it will take to get me to the dream. Life isn’t all about the big moments, it’s about every day and the little steps that I take to get me to the big achievements. My daily habits have been slipping lately as work has gotten busier. My mindset has changed to be happy with any small step that I have time to take, as I adjust to the increased workload. Progress not perfection. Progress not perfection. Progress not perfection.

When I read the quote by Gandhi ~ Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress. It clicked. I am in a constant state of being uncomfortable, of being discontent. I realize now that this is how I continue to move forward and it’s not a bad thing, although it feels… well… uncomfortable! I do also realize that I need some contentment in my life too and that’s where looking back and acknowledging what I have done, how far I have come is important. Today I will appreciate that 10 years ago I ran 42.2 very long kilometres. I trained hard that very hot summer and I did it. And I never have to do it again 🙂 Time to go for my run!

The number one reason people give up so fast is that they look at how far they still have to go instead of how far they’ve come.

I make it a habit to surround myself with positive, successful, kind people. Just by me having this mindset, I have created an environment where at this point, I rarely deal with negative people anymore. Until this week!

This week I was in an unfortunate situation with a person who is an aggressive, egocentric and very angry bully. He had an agenda and was out to hurt innocent people to fulfill his goal. I think because I really don’t come in contact with this kind of person regularly I was shocked that someone could be this negative and hurtful. It’s not that I don’t know that these type of people exist but they are not in my life so I don’t give them any thought.

The situation has been resolved but it was a very stressful two days where I felt anxious and angry. Feelings that I try very hard to stay away from. And based on how I felt this week, will try even harder to avoid.

I don’t understand how someone thinks that their life will be better by treating people disrespectfully or intentionally hurting them. I appreciate that this person obviously has some issues and insecurities but intimidating and threatening others is not the way to deal with them.

I know that I am a better person because of the amazing people that I surround myself with. I have always realized this but through this incident it has become even more clear.

What a wonderful thing that happens when good people get together.

The news is full of such negativity and hate that I just don’t participate in it. I don’t read newspapers and I don’t watch the news (I don’t even have a tv!). Am I uneducated about some issues? Yes probably, but I would rather fill my time reading and watching things that are inspirational and positive, things that are going to make my life better.

I met a women in Florida a few weeks ago and she wanted to talk politics. Do I like our Prime Minister? What do I think about Trump? I told her politely that I don’t follow politics and that I spend my time on things that I can control. Trump being president is not something that I can control. I didn’t even get a vote. I’m Canadian. I told her that I can put positive things in my head or negative things and I choose positive. She paused for a moment and agreed that I had a very good outlook on life.

I respect that people have interest in discussing politics and being informed on all of the issues. I just don’t have that interest and the “discussions”, particularly online, get pretty nasty. Spending my time reading or hearing this puts me in a negative mindset which then affects the way I think about everything.

We can’t control who is Prime Minister or President (once the decision has been made) but we can put more positivity into the world. If we want to make the world a better place, and I think that’s what we all want, than we should engage in positive activities. Hold the door, give compliments, help someone in need, smile, give blood. Do something that is going to add good to the world rather than complaining about what you don’t like about others. Just think of the ripple effect this would have if everyone was acting in kindness. Continuing to give time to the issues fuelled by politicians and the media is just feeding the negativity.

And let’s read more stories like this one about Reddy and Jax…

Boy has his hair cut like his friend. Now he thinks they can’t be told apart

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln

This morning it was 6 degrees C and pouring rain. I was on the couch under a warm blanket. The plan was to run 5K and as I looked out the window the excuses seemed almost too easy, but guess what? I did it!

It’s really easy to make excuses, it’s so easy that sometimes we don’t consciously realize that we’re doing it. I could have justified not running, instead staying in the house this morning, what sane person would go running in the pouring rain? But I’ve got goals and sitting on the couch under a warm blanket isn’t going to help me achieve them.

The trick I’ve been using when those excuses appear… and they ALWAYS appear… is to remember what the end goal is. I am running another Ragnar Relay in May and my goal is to run all 3 legs at a certain pace. The first 2 legs aren’t the problem. The third leg is the challenge! Running approximately 8kms after spending the past 20 hours in a van, with no sleep, weird eating patterns and having already run 16kms IS the challenge. At the relay in September I struggled with the third leg, really struggled and I am not suffering through that again. So this time I WILL be fully trained.

Better training includes running even when it’s cold and pouring rain. So this morning while I was trying to talk myself out of the run I thought of my goal, I thought of that terrible third leg in September and I put my shoes on and did it.

If you’re struggling to fight the excuses and the thought of your goal doesn’t help you push through, maybe that goal isn’t the right one. Ask yourself why you set the goal. I had this issue last year. I set a swimming goal but I set it for the sake of setting it and not for any other reason. The result was, I fell behind and started hating swimming. So I gave up that goal and focused on something else. Something that I truly wanted to do. The giving up part was difficult for me but that was just my ego getting in the way.

A good goal should be something that you truly want to achieve, something that you are passionate about. If these things are true, the excuses become less of an issue and easier to push through.

I’m certainly not saying that I never make excuses, procrastinate or skip workouts but I am far more conscious of it now and fight a little hard to just get it done!

Many things aren’t equal but everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day.  We make time for what we truly want.

In the past couple of weeks people have been talking a lot about how happy they are that 2016 is over, what a terrible year it was. I am not going to deny that tragic events didn’t happen in 2016. And some of these people suffered loss or were dealing with illness. It’s not my place to tell them that 2016 wasn’t a terrible year for them, but it did make me think.

Hearing this repeatedly started me thinking about what my thoughts were on the past year. I thought about things that happened in the world, but most of my memories were of what happened to me, my family and my friends.

While there were definitely some negative aspects to the year, I have to say that 2016 was pretty incredible. When I analyzed this (because I analyze, or over-analyze everything) I realized that I put the most weight on things that I control. This past year I put more effort into making my life full and amazing than I have in any previous year.

Great things happened this year, because I made them happen. I pushed to fulfill adventures that were out of my comfort zone because I knew the outcome would be worth it. Amazing years don’t happen by doing the same thing as the previous year.

As the new year starts there is now a lot of talk about “2017 is going to be amazing” and “This is going to be best year yet” and I truly hope that this is true for everyone. But unless everyone plays an active role in their life and doesn’t just let it happen, I fear that in December I am going to hear “I can’t wait until 2017 is over, it’s been a terrible year”. Bad events are going to happen every year, most of them we have no control over. So again in 2017 I am going to do what I need to do, to make MY life and year amazing.

Before setting goals for 2017, I looked back and documented all that I had accomplished in the past year. Wow… it was a pretty cool exercise!

There are always those reasons (excuses) that I can think of not to do something, but usually the reasons to do it far outweigh the excuses. So why is it that the excuses often win out? It is easier to play it safe, it’s easier to just stay in the routine and it usually requires less effort to do what I always do.

This past week was one of the most amazing weeks I’ve had in a long time. Was it out of routine? Yes. Did it take effort to make it work? Yes. Did I have to drive 5 hours each way? Yes. Were there other things that needed to get done this week? YES!

A year or two ago I heard that Windsor (my hometown) would be hosting the World 25m Swimming Championships. As soon as I heard about it I knew that I wanted to be part of it. Now this is where my plan / execute fails. I have good ideas about things that I want to do but then when it comes time to do them, the excuses come out – I have too much work, I need to go to see clients that week, it’s a long drive – and the idea doesn’t happen.

This time it wasn’t a fail. I went online 6 months ago and completed a volunteer application, I blocked the week in my calendar and I worked around it. I knew that this was important to me, so I figured it out.

You can’t outwit fate by standing on the sidelines placing little side bets about the outcome of life… if you don’t play, you can’t win.

It truly was an incredible week. The event itself was spectacular but being able to experience it  behind the scenes as a volunteer was amazing. My job for the first 3 nights was to put the bibs (the sticker with the finalist’s last name) on the athletes. I got to watch the best swimmers in the world minutes before they raced. I put a bib on Chad le Clos right before he set a world record, I’m not going to take all the credit for the WR. The first night I was a little (or a lot) star-struck. After that it was very interesting to become familiar with their personalities. Most of the athletes were quiet and focused. Some were smiling and talkative.

While getting to see the swimmers up close was the highlight for me, the venue was no less spectacular. The event was held at the WFCU, where the Windsor Spitfires play. That’s right – the pool is at a hockey arena. Per FINA (the global governing body for swimming) regulations a temporary pool has to be installed that is 25m long x 26m wide x 2m deep. A company flew in from Italy to construct it… in 10 days… on a hockey rink! It was amazing to see this pool.

I remember thinking on the first day – I am so happy that this is only the first day and I get to come back for the rest of the week to work and experience this. (My effort to live in the moment is working!) Throughout the week I saw many people from high school and my swimming days. I loved it. Most of them I hadn’t seen in over 2o years!

This was a once in a life time event. A world championship, my favourite sport, in my hometown. If I had let the excuses win, I would have missed it. The next bus is not coming in 15 minutes. It’s not coming again. I was sad to leave today but so happy that I was part of it. I hope this experience will help me in the future to really think about what’s important and to put the excuses aside.

Other volunteers that I met couldn’t believe that I came from out of town (500 kms away) to volunteer at this event. They’d be shocked to find out what I have planned next! Stay tuned…